At least 10 people. I like people too much.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
sad side notes
Sometimes I see some people on the internet and get desperately sad over them, just because I've met them, they are awesome, but I never got a chance to be friends with them. Either the affection is one-sided or, no, actually, that probably is the only reason.
yesssss
Not a single fucking alarm is working for me, what the fuck. I can't shave properly because there is not enough light in the bathroom. Alright, the previous problem only comes once every 10 days.
When I got on the bus and sat down, I was happily listening to Nico Fucking Vega and staring in nothingness right in front of me. Two girls got on the next stop and stood right in front of me. I can't look forward anymore, since they'd think I'm staring them down, I sit on the aisle side of chairs, so can't look outside windows, people everywhere else so I look directly down on my fucking hands as if I were ashamed. Well, I was, since other people don't usually have a problem with riding a full bus. And, as I continue to stare down and listen to music, I don't notice the lady next to me wants to get off.
And in school everything suddenly turned out alright, I enjoyed the sociology class yet again, despite the moment when "The lecturer is married." "Shit."
For some reason, I got overly happy, probably just because I talked to people I like, which is always nice. The coffee was a mistake that made my excitement escalate out of hand, but, no worries, at least I was able to do a homework almost before deadline.
The happiness has ran out, now even the "happy" stereomood playlist is unhelpful. Seriously, how is this song happy?
A concert tomorrow that seems absolutely unappealing to me. And I have to wear suit pants on the way to school already, but the classy shoes wouldn't survive the snow, so there will be the fugly combination of suit pants and winter boots. I hate being ugly.
So here's me being all 17 and shit.
Sunday, 9 December 2012
title
Lots of wine and rehearsals. Some heartaches, loads of plans, no cash, stereomood is empty, blisters from guitar.
Gotta love my receding hairline.
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Relief
Since I haven't left my house for a while, except for smoking breaks, real life conversations have slipped by, and I have to substitute them with arguing with an invisible opponent on the interwebs. I found "The Rules of a Gentleman", a heavy list of over 2 hundred entries. This might be the reason I'm down on my luck with women.
No.3 - Never talk about other girls infront of her.
I had a girlfriend who expected this of me, and she was also an unreasonably jealous bitch. Also, if this is still a rule after the age of 30, the relationship is probably fucked up, and both parties are probably cheating on each other.
No.4 - Learn to play the guitar for her.
"Learn to play the one song she likes at the moment for her." Then realize that the performance after one months playing is very awkward, stop learning the guitar and sell it for 10% of the original value a year later.
No.7 - If she can’t sleep, read her a bedtime story.
When I couldn't sleep and wanted sex, you didn't agree, so why don't you just take your sleeping pills.
No.8 - If you get in a fight with her and she starts crying, just stop and hold her.
"If I'm stupid, it's your fault."
No.9 - Never force her to do anything.
How is this not mutual by default?
No.10 - Call her beautiful, especially when she least expects it.
Like, when she poops?
No.13 - Always make the first move.
I love how this list tries to make rules as if women are somehow more special and important than men, yet visualizes them as fucking incompetent of performing basic human interactions.
No.14 - Never lie to her, she’ll find out.
Again, how is this not mutual by default?
No.15 - Kiss her when she’s sleeping.
Rape
No.16 - Sing to her no matter how terrible your voice is. ..she’ll like it.
No, she won't
No.17 - When she’s fighting with someone, defend her even when you don’t think she’s right.
That's how society gets dumb, but whatever, had sex, right?
No.23 - Never go through her messages.
Because she's cheating on you. This rule is just to make it your fault if you find out.
Also, "No.230- Don’t flip out when your girlfriend wonders who you’re with or what you’re doing. It means she cares and she’s actually afraid to lose you to someone else. "
No.26 - Kiss her in the rain.
How did this become romantic, I don't get it, that's one of the most inconvenient times to kiss.
No.28 - Stay on the call with her even if she fell asleep.
What? Why? Well, alright, but you're not getting that birthday gift you wanted, since I don't have any money left.
No.30 - Give her piggyback rides.
The offer alone will cause an outbreak of "Noooo, I'm too fat, yes I am, don't lie to me, you always lie to me."
No.32 - Apologize when you’re wrong.
Also, apologize when you're right, since she'll just start to cry anyway.
No.34 - Boobs or butts doesn’t matter.
Muscles or label clothing don't either.
No.39 - Don’t swear.
Cussing and hitting is a birthright to women, since they're more emotional and hurting guys is between "cute" and "gurl, u so confident!"
No.41 - Always be the stronger one.
Doesn't comply with other rules, but whatever.
No.42 - Pay for dinner.
Because fuck you.
No.44 - Be a good listener.
Shut up, if you want sex.
No.47 - Don’t use her.
But pay for the dinner, if you want to keep the relationship going.
No.52 - Hang out with her friends too, not just yours.
Even though they only think of you as an asshole since that thing that you did last week.
No.54 - She’s more important than videogames.
And he is more important than chick flicks, shitty books and terrible magazines, so what's the point?
No.55 - Don’t make a promise if you’re gonna break it.
Unless you have a vagina. Seriously, why are these rules listed specifically under mans duties?
No.56 - If she slaps you, you probably deserved it.
Because women are always right. If you slap her, I hope you like prison buttsex.
No.58 - Never slap her, even if it’s just in a joking way.
WHAT
No.62 - Never insult her, even if you’re joking around.
Not even a third, and I'm done, sorry.
The mighty internet wins again.
No.3 - Never talk about other girls infront of her.
I had a girlfriend who expected this of me, and she was also an unreasonably jealous bitch. Also, if this is still a rule after the age of 30, the relationship is probably fucked up, and both parties are probably cheating on each other.
No.4 - Learn to play the guitar for her.
"Learn to play the one song she likes at the moment for her." Then realize that the performance after one months playing is very awkward, stop learning the guitar and sell it for 10% of the original value a year later.
No.7 - If she can’t sleep, read her a bedtime story.
When I couldn't sleep and wanted sex, you didn't agree, so why don't you just take your sleeping pills.
No.8 - If you get in a fight with her and she starts crying, just stop and hold her.
"If I'm stupid, it's your fault."
No.9 - Never force her to do anything.
How is this not mutual by default?
No.10 - Call her beautiful, especially when she least expects it.
Like, when she poops?
No.13 - Always make the first move.
I love how this list tries to make rules as if women are somehow more special and important than men, yet visualizes them as fucking incompetent of performing basic human interactions.
No.14 - Never lie to her, she’ll find out.
Again, how is this not mutual by default?
No.15 - Kiss her when she’s sleeping.
Rape
No.16 - Sing to her no matter how terrible your voice is. ..she’ll like it.
No, she won't
No.17 - When she’s fighting with someone, defend her even when you don’t think she’s right.
That's how society gets dumb, but whatever, had sex, right?
No.23 - Never go through her messages.
Because she's cheating on you. This rule is just to make it your fault if you find out.
Also, "No.230- Don’t flip out when your girlfriend wonders who you’re with or what you’re doing. It means she cares and she’s actually afraid to lose you to someone else. "
No.26 - Kiss her in the rain.
How did this become romantic, I don't get it, that's one of the most inconvenient times to kiss.
No.28 - Stay on the call with her even if she fell asleep.
What? Why? Well, alright, but you're not getting that birthday gift you wanted, since I don't have any money left.
No.30 - Give her piggyback rides.
The offer alone will cause an outbreak of "Noooo, I'm too fat, yes I am, don't lie to me, you always lie to me."
No.32 - Apologize when you’re wrong.
Also, apologize when you're right, since she'll just start to cry anyway.
No.34 - Boobs or butts doesn’t matter.
Muscles or label clothing don't either.
No.39 - Don’t swear.
Cussing and hitting is a birthright to women, since they're more emotional and hurting guys is between "cute" and "gurl, u so confident!"
No.41 - Always be the stronger one.
Doesn't comply with other rules, but whatever.
No.42 - Pay for dinner.
Because fuck you.
No.44 - Be a good listener.
Shut up, if you want sex.
No.47 - Don’t use her.
But pay for the dinner, if you want to keep the relationship going.
No.52 - Hang out with her friends too, not just yours.
Even though they only think of you as an asshole since that thing that you did last week.
No.54 - She’s more important than videogames.
And he is more important than chick flicks, shitty books and terrible magazines, so what's the point?
No.55 - Don’t make a promise if you’re gonna break it.
Unless you have a vagina. Seriously, why are these rules listed specifically under mans duties?
No.56 - If she slaps you, you probably deserved it.
Because women are always right. If you slap her, I hope you like prison buttsex.
No.58 - Never slap her, even if it’s just in a joking way.
WHAT
No.62 - Never insult her, even if you’re joking around.
Not even a third, and I'm done, sorry.
The mighty internet wins again.
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
How does it
Just when I thought music had ended.
Not much going on. I finished a rather rewarding job, missed school again, realized that I'm low on money.
And then, what the fuck, I get a message from Latvia, which makes me all funny inside. Seriously, I'm laughing, and I can't do anything about it. I shouldn't be allowed to talk to girls, because I can't stop falling in love with them.
Moar Kills:
Not much going on. I finished a rather rewarding job, missed school again, realized that I'm low on money.
And then, what the fuck, I get a message from Latvia, which makes me all funny inside. Seriously, I'm laughing, and I can't do anything about it. I shouldn't be allowed to talk to girls, because I can't stop falling in love with them.
Moar Kills:
Monday, 3 December 2012
super indeed
Stereomood does not have songs tagged with "not shit", and it all sounds like shit tonight.
I spent 8 hours in the studio yesterday, despite being excused after I had done every part. Another girl had too much as a director and cried.
Then there's this need to express the things and I can't imagine an appropriate presentation here, and I want more friends in Tallinn.
Music starts to piss me off.
Two girls of interest, both connected to the picture of Allison (stolen from The Kills facebook page). One of them is out of my league yet keeps my hopes up, the other one, besides anything else, has a boyfriend.
I spent 8 hours in the studio yesterday, despite being excused after I had done every part. Another girl had too much as a director and cried.
Then there's this need to express the things and I can't imagine an appropriate presentation here, and I want more friends in Tallinn.
Music starts to piss me off.
Two girls of interest, both connected to the picture of Allison (stolen from The Kills facebook page). One of them is out of my league yet keeps my hopes up, the other one, besides anything else, has a boyfriend.
Saturday, 1 December 2012
Croak
Did I share this already?
Some dreams alright, with a personally touching story that's easy to overcome after I wake up. Like the one I had about the one-of-several summer loves the previous night. That was pretty much Skins. But the one before that, where I'm involved with a fucked up cult, I'd only like to know, what triggered that, what the fuck was the brain doing, when it showed me that. Might be on the same level, where I kill a non-existent brother and divide him up in pieces.
Paragraph removed on 12.12.2012. Every time someone new starts reading the blog, I re-read the most recent entries, just in case. Just in case someone is taking my text too seriously, I removed a few sentences, for peaceful purposes.
Working as a director and helping other directors is messy, requires multitasking skills (which I hardly have) and is also very fun, despite panicking over minor details (I mean, I checked the picture two times already, but what if it's the wrong one, then it would fuck everything up and people will hate me) and working with the first broadcast completely unprepared.
My favorite sweater is a few sizes smaller, thanks, laundry lady. Is this a revenge for the odd number of mismatching socks that I always give you to sort?
The costly drum lessons are not what I expected at all, but still seem a lot of fun.
I liked the party, and some people liked my singing. Some French girl was impressed by my French wine, yesss. Also starting to lose hope to make up my mind about relationships.
Some dreams alright, with a personally touching story that's easy to overcome after I wake up. Like the one I had about the one-of-several summer loves the previous night. That was pretty much Skins. But the one before that, where I'm involved with a fucked up cult, I'd only like to know, what triggered that, what the fuck was the brain doing, when it showed me that. Might be on the same level, where I kill a non-existent brother and divide him up in pieces.
Paragraph removed on 12.12.2012. Every time someone new starts reading the blog, I re-read the most recent entries, just in case. Just in case someone is taking my text too seriously, I removed a few sentences, for peaceful purposes.
Working as a director and helping other directors is messy, requires multitasking skills (which I hardly have) and is also very fun, despite panicking over minor details (I mean, I checked the picture two times already, but what if it's the wrong one, then it would fuck everything up and people will hate me) and working with the first broadcast completely unprepared.
My favorite sweater is a few sizes smaller, thanks, laundry lady. Is this a revenge for the odd number of mismatching socks that I always give you to sort?
The costly drum lessons are not what I expected at all, but still seem a lot of fun.
I liked the party, and some people liked my singing. Some French girl was impressed by my French wine, yesss. Also starting to lose hope to make up my mind about relationships.
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