While, just as predicted in South Park, students around me start to get angry, or guilty, towards capitalism, I was just disappointed in a different way - it's impossible to make tea with the mass-produced supermarket-provided black currant jam, probably because of the bullshit ingredients that disappear when water is poured over. I realize that the preservatives do something good to the product, but the homemade jam is what I need right now.
Not only I recall all the conversations, but the mere sight of her from about 10 meters away made me feel devastated . Falling for someone in a relationship is alright, but this is just miserable. I even jumped in my seat when I heard her say some remark in a casual tone somewhere behind me, struggled the instinct to turn my head as well, fuck, this was easier three years ago. And if I fuck something up, hardly anyone to turn to, so the inner fight continues. The negative conclusions are more than the positive, or even acceptable ones; there's always risk, when trying for the good outcome, and I've lost major tactical advantage twice now. If this ain't a prime example of an inner drama, I don't know what is.
In other news, I forgot that I've homework to do, should try it now.
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