But no curse words were relieving when I woke up this morning, realizing I have the worst headache, hardly any money and that I was only dreaming. All my dreams are like that - either something so desirable that I wake up incredibly disappointed, or me killing my brother, dividing the body in pieces and hiding through the house and losing the head somehow. Or the one where I was drowning in a maze, which apparently was so good that I saw it three times. And let's not forget about the classic: an old lady breaks into my apartment, crawls under a chair and comes out on the other side as a horse walking on two legs. I don't care that I was 12, when I had it, that was probably the dumbest thing I've thought in my life.
And now the fucking dreams are partially overlapping with reality and I have no idea what to do or what is going on.
This is a view that I saw almost every day for almost three years. I would get drunk there, I would sit alone with nothing but a boring book and cigarettes hopelessly waiting for people to show up, I would hang out with some of the brightest minds I knew back there and do awkward conversations with others. Once I went inside to see my ex sitting next to a girl I slept with some time after the breakup. I went to their table to say hi, they looked at me and started to cry, so I went back outside. That is a bar that defines the recent 10% (time-wise) of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment